Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.
when ur parents call u for dinner and u see they made your fav
Anonymous asked: how big is your dick
you know what a pencil looks like when’s it’s been sharpened all the way down to the metal eraser part
"When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty."
"You used to ride me like that" :(
I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.
i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god
I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.
I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?
i tried whatever that was and it worked just fine 10/10
"If you cum and she doesn’t…you didn’t fuck her, she fucked you."